Carol Burnett sings, “Not Getting Married”

Carol Burnett gets maybe the maximum number of laughs possible in this song, although she can’t really handle the singing:

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Superman is an Asshole, Part two

Superman, with just a little work you could probably marry both of them.

Superman, with just a little work you could probably marry both of them


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Mr. T Hawks Gold on Bloomberg TV – Redonk

Mr. T’s father told him that it takes a smart man to play dumb.

So, he decides to convince uninformed people to sell gold at rock-bottom prices to the giant gold accumulators, who then melt it down and resell it to smarter people.

Smart, and dumb.

Bloomberg TV is no longer a legitimate television network.

Here is some nice investigative reporting by ABC and Consumer Reports:


DO NOT SELL YOUR GOLD TO ONE OF THESE COMPANIES!

Find a dealer that will give you a fair price.

Mr. T is also a character in my show “GenCon: The Musical”.


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Creepy Weird Halloween: Helping Johnny Remember

All this month, I bring you weird and creepy videos from the internets.

Today, an awesome horror movie remix of an old public service ad by video artist Ashleigh Nankivell:

Way creepy

More Creepy Weird Halloween:

Anything Can Happen on Halloween – Tim Curry

Gimme Pizza! – The Olsen Twins

Helping Johnny Remember – Ashleigh Nankivell


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Superman is an Asshole

This Superman.

Creative re-editing of Superman 2 by founder287:


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I write “Halo Nation” – live! (Draft 5)

Click for the Halo Nation podcast.

JAMES and JESTER are soldiers stationed together in Afghanistan. JAMES is from Brooklyn, JESTER from Chicago.

View the previous drafts:

I write “Halo Nation” live, draft 1
I write “Halo Nation” live, draft 2
Draft 3, with the complete book.
Draft 4, last draft with the book included.

JAMES

A

I DON’T READ
NO NEW YORK TIMES
IT’S ALL SO DEPRESSING TODAY

I DON’T NEED
NO JON STEWART
TO TELL ME THE NEWS OF THE DAY

I DON’T EVEN
WATCH THE FOX
THOUGH GLENN BECK’S PRETTY OK

I LISTEN TO
MY X-BOX
AND MASTER CHIEF COMMANDS THAT I GUNPLAY

WE’RE THE HALO
NATION
WE LAY LOW
IN THE FOUNDATION

UP WE RISE
TO LIVE ON XBOX LIVE
WHERE THE B-R-FIFTY-FIVE
RIPS HOLES FROM NINE TO FIVE

WE’RE THE HALO
NATION
WE PLAY SLOW
ON FAKE VACATION

CALL IN SICK
TO SKIP YOUR DUMBASS JOB
WHERE TEAM LEADER BOB (rewrite)
CALLS YOU SLOB (rewrite)


A’

I DON’T PRANCE
IN SOHO CLUBS
I’M NEVER MANHATTAN INBOUND

I WON’T CHANCE
MY DANCING SHOES
WITH A HUNDRED HOT GIRLS AROUND

I DON’T EVEN
GO UPSTAIRS MUCH
LET’S ALL HANG OUT ON COMMON GROUND

I JUST COLD CHILL
WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS
AND MASTER CHIEF COMMANDS THAT WE GUNPLAY

WE’RE THE HALO
NATION
WE LAY LOW
IN THE FOUNDATION

UP WE RISE
TO LIVE ON XBOX LIVE
WHERE THE B-R-FIFTY-FIVE
RIPS HOLES FROM NINE TO FIVE

B

DOWN AT THE BAR IN MY BASEMENT
GIANTS PLAY THE RAVENS ON TV
GAMES OVER
GIRLS DO THEIR MAKEUP
YOU AND ME
WE PLAY HALO THREE

XBOX 360 IN MY BASEMENT
BIOSHOCK TWO AND HALO THREE
I GOT ONE EXTRA CONTROLLER
WHEN WE GET BACK,
WILL YOU PLAY WITH ME?

A

JESTER and JAMES

WE’RE THE HALO NATION


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Alisa “Plucky” Rosenthal is an Andy Kaufman Awards semi-finalist!

My friend Alisa “Plucky” Rosenthal is coming to New York for the Andy Kaufman awards finals. Watch her delight on YouTube:

To get tickets to see her at the Gotham Comedy Club click here:

Gotham Comedy Club


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Female character flowchart from Mlawski

Genius work by mlawski at Overthinking It:

Female Character flowchart from Overthinking It


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“I’m Crushing Your Head” as retold by UCB in the style of Quentin Tarantino

Here’s the original:


Here’s the Upright Citizen Brigades version, as if retold by Quentin Tarantino:

The original, is, of course, infinitely better.


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“Not Getting Married” – Original Broadway Cast Rehearses

Previous entries on this subject:

“Not Getting Married Today.” – Madeline Kahn sings and Sondheim teaches.


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