Creepy Weird Halloween: “Anything Can Happen on Halloween” – Tim Curry

All this month, I bring you weird and scary videos from the internets.

Tonight a truly terrifying tale of Woe wherein Tim Curry channels his best Bowie.

Tim Curry is the rich man's David Bowie.

Below the video, I do lyrical analysis and then I rewrite the song, but to start us out, a few lyrics from this gem:

Anything can happen on Halloween
Your dog could turn into a cat

This is the first thing they list after saying that any thing can happen. Here are a few other things these writers find astounding:

There may be a toad in your bass guitar
Your toenails grow long and your hair turns green
Your teacher could become a sardine

How uproariously astounding and wondrous those things are! Especially the toad in my bass guitar.

Imagine your shock at finding a toad in your bass guitar! It’s supernaturally terrifying! Only on Halloween, I guess!

Seriously, guys, toads aren’t that scary.

Seriously.

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(keep scrolling)

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Unless it's this guy! Bluh! Bluh! Got You!


Enjoy the video:

At about 2:15 we get to my favorite lines:

Anything can happen on Halloween
Your toenails grow long and your hair turns green
Your teacher could become a sardine
Your dentist could turn into a queen.
Has anybody seen my tambourine

Follow these lyrics. They start out making sense: nail growth and hair-dying are a little scary. The next one is a little wacky, but I would move that to the third line because jokes best come in threes.

Then we get to “Your dentist could turn into a queen.” I think this may actually have been a throwaway line for small girls, because this is a kids show, but with Tim Curry singing it, it becomes immediately subverted into something weirdly sexual.

Then the last line: it has nothing to do with anything. The songwriter just picked a funny word and declared the song finished, because either the writer is not talented or they don’t care about a crappy song in a kids show on HBO.

But Tim Curry sings it, you idiot. You could have Tim Curry sing a good song instead of a crappy one.

All the song writer has to rhyme “Halloween”. That’s easy! Rhymezone lists 410 rhymes for “Halloween”! You should be able to come up with good lyrics for that. Yet, this writer managed to do a terrible job.

My rewrite:

Anything can happen on Halloween
Drink a witch’s potion and your hair turns green
Your math teacher changes to an evil queen
The fridge becomes Frankenstein’s machine
Wolverine plays the tambourine

Yeah, it’s really not that much better. But I just love the image of Wolverine playing the tambourine so much.

Thanks to Lauryl Sulfate of Ninety Six Minutes for sending me this video! If you want to send me a video, become my friend on Facebook.

More Creepy Weird Halloween:

Creepy Weird Halloween: F.A.T.A.L. Original Theme Song

Situation: Halloween – Where is my ghost?

Anything Can Happen on Halloween – Tim Curry

Gimme Pizza! – The Olsen Twins

Helping Johnny Remember – Ashleigh Nankivell


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7 Responses to Creepy Weird Halloween: “Anything Can Happen on Halloween” – Tim Curry

  1. Pingback: » Creepy Weird Halloween: “Gimme Pizza” – The Olsen Twins

  2. Pingback: » Creepy Weird Halloween: Helping Johnny Remember

  3. Pingback: » Creepy Weird Halloween: “Situation: Halloween – Where is my ghost?”

  4. Pingback: » Creepy Weird Halloween: “F.A.T.A.L. Original Theme Song”

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